“The Pilot” to be remounted

Bosses aren’t happy with the episode


In an exclusive scoop, it’s been revealed that Doctor Who‘s upcoming episode The Pilot is to be remounted. This comes at two weeks before the transmission date. Reasons for the remount are described by an insider as being numerous technical difficulties which are too problematic to solve through editing. Such problems involve the police box doors on the control room set opening and closing at random, which was not noticed until after wrapping, because bosses were too distracted by the subsequent banging sound. It’s unknown if the upcoming season’s episodes will be pushed back by a week in order to accommodate the control room set being replaced with a brand new one, in-which it is planned for ceiling lights to not be visible. The TARDIS dematerialisation sound is also allegedly being updated via Auto-tune. Feedback from executives describes the Doctor’s new black coat as being too grim, and is likely to replaced with something reminiscent of the Sixth Doctor’s costume. The special effects used to represent the Daleks’ exterminations were also of concern, with the screen being turned negative instead of using a death ray effect (it’s unknown why this decision was made). The character of Bill is also said to be a problem, with the script making her too antagonising in the eyes of test audiences, with a costume change also needed in order to make her look more modern so viewers won’t be confused by someone wearing clothes from 30 years ago. Errors in sound mixing resulted in a thunderclap being inserted over the opening bars of the theme tune, which everyone agrees is totally out of place. However, the major change – which is likely to be the most controversial – is the decision to remove Gallifrey from Doctor Who‘s mythology, with the Doctor’s home planet once again becoming a mystery. This is said to make the Doctor more mysterious. The matter of what this episode should be called has caused a stir within management, as the relevant paperwork is inconsistent in this regard. Insiders are claiming that one show boss declared this episode:

…the worst piece of work I’ve seen in a long time.

The Dalek corridor chase seen by viewers has come under fire for a moment in-which the Doctor and Bill become stuck in a doorway, and their faces are covered by shadow due to poor lighting. Numerous shots show cameras colliding with the set. Bosses were apparently so distracted by this that errors made by the actors were retained in the edit, as were several stage hands that were not supposed to be in shot. A silhouette visible on the TARDIS is another mistake that is to be fixed. In the same shot, someone stumbles in the background, creating a crashing sound that somehow made its way into the edit, as did the sound of someone calling a cue after the cameras started rolling.

The Pilot (if it’s still to be called that) will be broadcast on Saturday 15th March 2017… hopefully!

Author: alexsigsworth

Basically... run.

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